Honestly of the Week: 5-16-09

This week brings us our first interactive Honestly of the Week.  Take a look at the clip below…

Now, I admit to not having much understanding of or patience for the opposite sex, so maybe you all can help me out.

Starting out, I was embarrassed for this poor girl.  Then she mentions that she was intentionally not wearing underwear that day.  Why?  Because “she didn’t want her panty lines to show,” the dutiful reporter tells us.  Um…okay.  So, instead of revealing your panties, you revealed your chach.  Smart move.  Clearly your mother didn’t teach you how to sit like a lady, either.  You’ve got both feet flat on the floor and, oh yea, one of your hands  in your crotch! You are drawing direct attention to your so daintily labeled “private parts”.  Even if you were covered up, people like me would still look at that photo and think, “Oh, check it out.  Suzie’s got crabs.”

So, okay, sweetheart, you made a boneheaded mistake.  I suppose I can give you a pass.  Maybe.  Your mother, however, is a different story.

Jeanette, if that is your real name, would you mind telling me how the school principal continuing to distribute yearbooks with the offending photo is any more exploitive than you and your daughter appearing on national television to discuss her exposed vagina??? And yes, this was national.  I saw this story on CNN first.  I just had to snoop around YouTube for an accessible link.  So, kudos, Jeanette!  You’ve just become the primary agent through which this torrid photo faux-pas will “follow” your daughter.  Sure, she might have had to deal with a few giggles from catty classmates until the school year ended; but then again, she goes to a high school of 2,500 students! I did my undergrad work at an institution that size!  Do you really think everyone knows your daughter and that everyone is going to point and laugh at her?  Well, they may not have before, but they certainly will now!  Because you went on the fucking news and crowed about your daughter’s pussy in the yearbook! Every perv in the senior class is now flipping to page 72 and taking a close look at your daughter’s area!  And she’s got you to thank!

What galls me the most is that you, Jeanette, have the nerve to be surprised.  Didn’t you see what your daughter was wearing that day when she left for school?  Hell knows I wouldn’t have let my daughter leave the house like that.  But I suppose you wouldn’t have thought the sight of your 16 year old daughter traipsing off to school in an oversized tube top to be unusual, since you felt comfortable appearing on national television wearing short shorts! And your daughter, who is perenially red-faced because her dress was too short, is sitting next to you in nearly identical shorts! Do you understand the irony, Jeanette?  You’re offended that everyone in town can get a free peek at your daughter’s hoo-haa, yet you allow her to appear on national television in a glorified bikini bottom, while you sit next to her, with your own thighs spilling out from beneath shorts that aren’t fit for a marathon runner to be wearing!  Jesus Fucking Christ, woman!

Here’s how I hope the problem gets resolved.  Jeanette and her mother will be driving to their first appointment with their lawyer.  The car will stall at a railroad crossing.  Correction: on a railroad crossing.  The end.  Sorry, dear, but when the apple doesn’t fall far enough from the va-jay-jay, you’re both going down.

Honestly, Jeanette and her daughter.  Honestly…

~ T


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