Tonight was the fall kickball play-offs. Single elimination on the road to the championship. Due to holiday travels and impending births (no, really), we were barely able to field a full team. We were squaring off against our opponents from the last week of our regular season, the Gold Goonies. The name was earned solely because they had a player who resembled Sloth. Come to think of it, he resembled the animal, too.
It was a fairly uneven match. Despite our close contest before, the Goonies came roaring out of the gate early. Our infield couldn’t handle their slippery bunts, and their runners sped down the baseline while we looked hopelessly for the cut-off. Oh, and there was this one skinny bitch who took absurd leads and tried to play dumb. Don’t mess with me, Swizzle Stick; I’ll break those toothpicks off your hips and pick my fucking teeth with them.
Their defense was equally strong. The tall, long-limbed menfolk of their team did all the work in the infield, and their pitcher harnessed the power of his truly titanic ass to throw some seriously speedy curveballs. I’ll admit to swinging and missing once (but just once…unlike some people…).
We were down 4 – 0 when 3ric booted a long solo home run. We tried to keep the rally going, but to no avail. Our on-base percentage was lacking, and we never got anyone else beyond second base. The final score was 7 – 1. Hey, at least we put up a fight; if only we had been fighting since the first inning, and not since the third.
Our defeat official, we took our belongings and left Momma Johnson Park for the last time this season and this year. Some of my teammates are moving on to the winter season, taking up dodgeball or bowling. Me, I’m sitting it out, but you can bet I’ll be counting the days until spring training.
Post-Season Record: 0 – 1
MVP of the Week: Yours Truly – I was 2 for 3 at the plate, and made 3 great outs in right field: one was a near collision, another was made after the ball ricocheted off my face, and the third was made literally as I stood up from tying my shoe. At least I can personally say that I went out on top.
Weekly “Not En Fuego” Award: Scott – For walking a batter and striking out at the plate; simply the worst a pitcher could do.
Quote of the Week: “I’m not even giving her a full inning: Erin, you suck!” ~ Josh