Apologies for the slight delay. I suffered through what I’m hoping is one final weekend of computer difficulties. Without further ado…
Well, sports fans, the season has finally come to an end. I’m happy to report that the Goddamnit Gerber gang went out on a high note, winning the game 7 – 4.
I could not be present at the game. Knowing that, I solicited contributions from all team members for today’s recap. Here’s what I’ve been able to piece together…
The biggest news from the game was the discovery of our new star pitcher, Volpe. No time like the present, I suppose. With both Spitz and Scott absent, Twinkle Toes volunteered himself for this most crucial position…and acquitted himself magnificently. According to George, it was largely the one-two infield punch of Volpe on the mound and JR at first that kept the other team down. Their bunts were worth nothin’.
Joe was big on offense, kicking two homers. He has individually booted more home runs than the rest of the team combined…over the past three seasons.
In a welcome change of pace, Jill’s dispatch from Momma Johnson Park claims that the other team was composed of genuinely nice people. This probably just means that they were as drunk as my teammates were.
Though, apparently, no one was drunker than Rachel. Our litigious lovely allegedly had so much alcohol in her system, she conquered her fear of dogs. She also allegedly conquered her fear of conflicts of interest by getting cozy post-game with the umpire. Allegedly.
The evening ended, as most evenings do (and as some even begin), with lots of dancing and shots of cafe patron. I regret that I could not be present for the festivities (though I don’t regret missing the shots).
And so goes another season; a season which, for me, may be the last for a while. Yes, sports fans, I must temporarily hang up my custom t-shirt to save a little cash and to go about finding ways to make some more. The office ain’t exactly rolling in dough; though if it is, I’m certainly not seeing an increased amount of it. So my hopes are high that as summer rapidly approaches, opportunities will present themselves; opportunities as rich in storytelling potential as kickball.
Though perhaps there’s a chance–a small, miniscule chance–that without my presence as designated team historian, some person or persons will step forward to keep track of the shenanigans and mischief engendered by the Goddamnit Gerber gang, and contribute them to the blog. It’s up to you, dear readers. Make your voices heard!
Signing off, from Momma Johnson Park…
Game 7 Brief
Final Record: 2 – 3 – 1 -1?
MVP of the Week: Volpe – For stepping up and taking charge when our team was abandoned by its two headstrong hurlers
Weekly Not En Fuego Award: Steinhaus – Multiple sources confirm that Steinhaus attended preg-game happy hour, insisted on moving pre-game happy hour from the bar to his apartment, and then didn’t go to the game when the time came to move out. Honestly?
Quote of the Week: “Guys! I pet both dogs! I can’t be sober!” ~ Rachel, according to George