The season rolls on, and the wins keep coming for the Turquoise Team! On Tuesday, we assembled to battle the Blue Team. I reached the field first, as I was coming straight from the office. The rest of the herd wandered on to the field at 7:59 for our 8:00 start. Apparently, things were getting wild at the Pourhouse. Chet proudly reported that Kish and Brandon had been dethroned from their beer pong dominance. Now we had a theory to test. Would the dynamic duo’s demise forecast our own defeat?
Apparently not. Just like last week, we exploded at the start. We couldn’t get a bunt past their infield, which meant we all had to swing for the fences. Thanks largely to Jeff and Chet, our very own Bash Brothers, we starting raking in runs. Kudos also to Jill, for crafting another stellar batting order, this time clearly displayed on her iPhone! Daring baserunning also played a part in maintaining our lead. Rosa successfully escaped a heart-pounding pickle between second and third, and Kish danced the line of good taste when he motored to second on a bobbled bunt. The Blues were officially out to get us after that little stunt.
I should say that I have no illusions that we are somehow guiltless in the tenor of our interactions with our opponents week after week. We’re loud, we’re inattentive, and when we’re on a roll, we don’t give it up easily. So, sure, you can accuse us of being distracting, of being impolite, and of being insular little weasels. But one thing all the other teams in the Extremely Casual division have to stop accusing us of is baseline blocking. After the first inning, one of the Blues was complaining to the ref that Stacy was blocking her way to third. You’ll recall the White Queen leveling a similar accusation in Week 2. Let me explain this to you, Sweetcheeks. If the ball had been kicked to right field and Stacy posted up in an attempt to slow you down, then you’d have a valid argument. But when the ball is blasted to the shortstop–the position Stacy was playing that inning–and she steps up to make the catch while you try to bulldoze your way to third, Stacy is not at fault. Stacy is making the play. And last I checked, the baselines are part of the playing field. They are not some demilitarized safety zone protecting you from harm. How else do you think double plays are made in a force situation? Honestly…
After seven innings of shenanigans, we shook hands with a silent Blue squad. This 15-8 victory was our largest by far. We now officially have a winning record. With two regular season games left to go, can we continue to ride this unprecedented wave into the play-offs? Stay tuned, sports fans.
MVP of the Week: The honor goes to Rosa for the second time. Whether on offense or defense, she was a menace in the infield. And now she has her own fan club!
Weekly Not En Fuego Award: It’s Kish’s turn to shoulder the blame. In addition to flirting with the Dark Side of kickball in his last at-bat, Kish lost all sense of temporal reference during the game. At different times, he confused the number of outs, runs, and innings. Just how badly did you lose beer pong, buddy?
Quote of the Week: “BOOM!” ~ Joe, providing his own sound effects to accompany his kick…a grounder straight to the third baseman, who threw him out at first.